Mothers & Sons

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

I've mentioned before that my husband and I are big on spending one-on-one time with each child.  I recapped a mother/daughter weekend I had with my daughter last year in which we even bought matching dresses.  A bit over the top?

Anyway, this past weekend I got some alone time with my little man.  We stayed here at home while Husband and Sister did their own thing in Pittsburgh.  It was very low key. We played board games by the fire, went out to dinner, saw The Lego Movie, rode bikes at the park, and I got to take him to his cute little basketball practice.  The whole weekend was so simple and inexpensive, yet so fun.  I love giving him my full attention and really asking him what HE wants to do.  I am so thankful for the connection he and I have.  And I pray that as he gets older, and our relationship evolves and changes, that I can maintain that. 

At this age, it appears that he is a little replica of my husband, even in the things he enjoys doing.  So the two of them will probably never have a hard time finding fun stuff to do together.  I am so grateful for the huge, important role that my husband plays in his life.  The constant wrestling. The need to play or watch sports incessantly. The jokes. The taunting. The nicknames. The excessive high-fives. The nail-biting discipline. The manly affection. The melt-your-heart "I love you's".

But let's be honest, I'm not a very sporty kinda girl. High fives actually annoy me. And I don't get down on the floor and wrestle or yell things like "You wanna fool with the bull, you're gonna get the horns!"  What????  I don't get boys. 

Anyway, I will look forward to finding other special things for he and I do to together that aren't necessarily the things that he would do with his Father.  :)

I've been thinking about this a lot lately.  How do mothers and sons stay connected as little boys get older and more independent?  I don't have a brother.  So I never watched a mother/son relationship develop over time in my own home.  Do they push their moms away at some point?  Do they roll their eyes when their mom asks to spend quality time together?  And dear lord, do they stop giving hugs?

I don't want to be crazy helicopter mom.  I want to be a cool mom who SEES her son and is there for him.  But without the pushiness or disrespect.  I say this now.  HE IS FOUR.  I know I will make a million mistakes.  But I do pray I can stay in touch with what he needs from me.  A safe place, a loving place, a place to ask spiritual questions and get honest answers, a place where important boundaries and rules are put in place to protect him.  A place where he can be real.  And a place where mistakes are okay and received with grace.

And we all grow and change and develop new interests.  I have no idea what the next 20 years have in store for me as a Mom.  I am just excited to see what gifts and callings God has placed in my son.  I will be his biggest cheerleader.  He may not ask me to shoot hoops with him (ehem), but maybe he'll sit on the deck with me and read a book or write a story.   No matter what, I am grateful he's mine.

Any experienced Moms out there with advice on how to stay connected with your sons as they get older?



  1. Sons always need their mothers. And although it can be tricky to navigate sometimes, you can keep a relationship that will have him wanting to figure out how to be manly and still get to give you hugs. I've seen my brothers do it. So sweet that you're building into him!

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