Today I just need quiet

Monday, September 16, 2013

It's a rainy and melancholy fall morning.  I just dropped both my children off at school and I find myself back at home, alone, for the first time in almost 6 years.  It's oddly quiet here besides the gentle rain falling just outside the french doors next to my desk.  I've got a little John Mayer playing in the background.  I'm glancing over my to-do list bust mostly I'm just reflecting on how much I crave this quiet today. 

I haven't felt like blogging lately.  And I haven't even felt like scrolling Instagram or any of my other favorite social sites.  And that's ok.  That happens from time to time.  I even went back in my archives and read this post from almost exactly one year ago where I was struggling with restlessness and a need for God to send His fullness in the places where I lacked.  It's interesting how both then and now, I am mere days away from a getaway with my Influence community where surely the change of scenery and creative energy there will provide a much needed boost of inspiration. 

But today I just need quiet.  Sometimes I think of the fast pace of social media, the demands of my family responsibilities, and the desire to be committed to many important relationships feel sort of like a really fast treadmill.  And I have to keep running at the right pace so that I don't miss anything.  Oh the horror of missing out on something! But sometimes I just have to stop.  Breathe. Step away.  And rest my mental reserves.

It's crazy how I choose to fill myself up each day with empty things despite knowing where to receive living water that will never leave me thirsty.  How quickly I forget that working in my own strength will leave me exasperated, but allowing the holy spirit to do the heavy lifting will always prove to replenish and refresh. 

This morning I want to lay down my shotty, half-hearted offerings and instead really let Him be the source of endless energy.  Less of me, Lord.  More of you.

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