Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Yesterday was a bit of a tough one as a Mom. My enthusiastic girl put her whole heart into something and it didn't quite work out. I am going to keep the details vague because she is old enough now to experience moments in life that deserve some privacy. But just know it was a moment where she got her little heart broken. And for the first time ever, I heard her say the most awful words, "I'm just not good enough."
Now clearly I've said this about myself before. But to hear your 5-year-old daughter say it with tears in her beautiful little eyes....it.hurts.so.much. I wanted to shout from the rooftops how perfect she is! I wanted to organize a parade in her honor! I wanted to write down 1,001 ways she makes this world better.
I felt like it was one of those defining moments in motherhood where you're suppose to say the right thing and make it all better. But what was the right thing?!? I don't always know what I'm doing. Quite honestly, I was beating myself up pretty bad because it felt like this specific incident was something that I could or should have prevented. And this was mixed with those mama bear instincts that wanted to rage in defense of her.
All I knew to do was hold her tight, wipe her tears, and remind her how deeply she is loved for exactly who she is.
And I knew this was just one of many many times I will have to watch my kids go through something that challenges their pride and self-worth. And more than anything, I want them use those experiences to concretely lean on their faith and their identity in Christ. So it's not always the right thing to protect them from these opportunities.
Thankfully, after some good long talks, a bubble bath and some coloring, she was as good as new. I, on the other hand, am still a wreck! But it made me feel good to know that, at least at this stage of her childhood, her security and self worth were quickly restored with a big dose of the simple, unconditional love that she already feels every day. Whew. Why do I always over-complicate things?
Oh Parenting, you sure do make me sweat.