The Art of Surrender
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
I love that our kitchen table is covered in art supplies all day, every day.
I've talked a lot on this blog about pursuing my passion. And I'm finding myself in a season that requires much patience in that regard. I'm the kind of person who craves change every few years. And although raising little ones inherently means things constantly change, it's also a time when I have to constantly push my own endeavors aside, or at least put them on pause. And that's okay. This is what I signed up for. But I guess I'm growing a bit tired of the start and stop that is my etsy shop, Mod Memento. My pattern typically looks like this....I have a creative surge, get excited about using my gifts, go full force ahead, quickly lose sight of my priorities, burn out, and close the shop. I take a break, regroup, and then subsequently repeat the cycle again. I am very much a "hurry up and get it now kind of person". When I get something on the brain, it's hard for me to slow down the momentum.
But 2012 was a year of God teaching me about rest & rhythm. And it was wonderful. I finally found comfort in knowing that I'm enough - exactly the way I am. I don't need any accolades of any earthly kind as long as I know my identity in Christ. I'm not gonna lie - this was tough for me. But it was such a fruitful year for me in terms of slowing down enough to let God tell me something important. I stopped a lot of that chasing and striving and just decided to listen. I'm still practicing this. Because the discipline of surrendering to God's sovereignty is a tough one.
And once again I find myself having a creative surge. I find myself wanting to rebrand and restart and do something I love. I wish I had unlimited hours to sit at my computer and create and design and dream and write. But I just don't right now.
So I'm treading lightly. I'm working on healthy surrender. And open hands. And embracing the lack of change. There truly can be beauty in the monotony of raising children! And perhaps, it's simply a season for hiding some of those other dreams in my heart until the right time. Because ultimately, I want whatever I do in this world to be about glorifying God and not about seeking the approval of man. I don't want the monster of comparison to steal my creative joy. And I don't want to find myself caring more about commendation and confirmation than I do about my creator.
Oh and by the way, Motherhood is the most creative endeavor I've ever taken on. It's an art form in itself, don't you agree?